I want to spare you the disappointment of getting your hopes up
over a man who's going to waste your time, get you to fall for him and
then leave. You can find out early in a relationship which men are good
prospects for marriage and avoid a lot of heartache.
But you need to pay attention, you can't sweep things you don't want to see under the rug or pretend they don't matter. You don't want to make the mistake of giving up your heart and your freedom to a man who only wants to use you.
One big mistake that will complicate your objectivity is if you get physical with a man too soon. It's like putting blinders on, once you feel physically attached, it's hard for you to discern a man's true intentions. It's all too easy to end up mistaking sexual interest for love.
Here are some warning signs that he's not in it for the long haul:
1. Your dates fall into a rigid pattern of dinner and going to bed. There's little deviation from this routine or little if any interaction with other people. You start to feel you're expected to go to bed with him every time you're together, as though buying you dinner gives him the right to go home with you.
2. You want to see him, so you let it be on his terms. When he calls for a date, it's always at the last minute. He expects you to be available to see him whenever he wants.
He has plenty of excuses why he can't plan ahead and you only get together when it's convenient for him. He won't commit ahead to parties, family get-togethers or holiday events and usually ends up being a no-show at the last minute.
3. He tells you he's not ready for a serious relationship but you're really special and he really likes you. It seems really into you and he wants to spend time with you. In fact, he can't keep his hands off you (flattering).
He acts like a serious suitor, paying you lots of attention. But there's a big difference: he told you he's not ready for a relationship. No matter how he treats you, men who are open to finding true love will not tell you that.
Dating tip: Look for a man who is not afraid to admit he wants a serious relationship!
This bad behavior can seem obvious; who would let themselves put up with this kind of treatment? Well, I admit that I did for years.
Sometimes you can get sucked into accepting less than you deserve. It becomes a pattern of behavior and it takes some objectivity to see what you've gotten used to accepting.
You may need help to pull yourself out. It's happened to every woman at some time and there's no shame in that. It's a part of the learning process, an essential step in recognizing what you really want from a man, and how to find the man who is ready and willing to marry you.
But you need to pay attention, you can't sweep things you don't want to see under the rug or pretend they don't matter. You don't want to make the mistake of giving up your heart and your freedom to a man who only wants to use you.
One big mistake that will complicate your objectivity is if you get physical with a man too soon. It's like putting blinders on, once you feel physically attached, it's hard for you to discern a man's true intentions. It's all too easy to end up mistaking sexual interest for love.
Here are some warning signs that he's not in it for the long haul:
1. Your dates fall into a rigid pattern of dinner and going to bed. There's little deviation from this routine or little if any interaction with other people. You start to feel you're expected to go to bed with him every time you're together, as though buying you dinner gives him the right to go home with you.
2. You want to see him, so you let it be on his terms. When he calls for a date, it's always at the last minute. He expects you to be available to see him whenever he wants.
He has plenty of excuses why he can't plan ahead and you only get together when it's convenient for him. He won't commit ahead to parties, family get-togethers or holiday events and usually ends up being a no-show at the last minute.
3. He tells you he's not ready for a serious relationship but you're really special and he really likes you. It seems really into you and he wants to spend time with you. In fact, he can't keep his hands off you (flattering).
He acts like a serious suitor, paying you lots of attention. But there's a big difference: he told you he's not ready for a relationship. No matter how he treats you, men who are open to finding true love will not tell you that.
Dating tip: Look for a man who is not afraid to admit he wants a serious relationship!
This bad behavior can seem obvious; who would let themselves put up with this kind of treatment? Well, I admit that I did for years.
Sometimes you can get sucked into accepting less than you deserve. It becomes a pattern of behavior and it takes some objectivity to see what you've gotten used to accepting.
You may need help to pull yourself out. It's happened to every woman at some time and there's no shame in that. It's a part of the learning process, an essential step in recognizing what you really want from a man, and how to find the man who is ready and willing to marry you.
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